Oh, how things have changed.....

Today I attended the year end pep assembly up at my son's high school....while sitting and watching the production, I couldn't help but reflect on what a different educational experience my children are having. It is so different from what my husband and I both had growing up.

My children have such wonderful teachers and administrators that have worked intensely on developing relationships with them built on trust and respect. At my high school, most teachers, not all but most certainly a majority, taught through intimidation and fear. I know the times now are different and that education has changed greatly, but I can't help but feel that my generation really missed out.

I need to start off by saying that I have the utmost respect for the teaching profession. Heck, at one time I wanted to be a teacher. I even spent the two years of my college education in pursuit of an elementary education degree. I was dead sure that teaching was my calling, dead sure until I completed my sophomore year of student/teacher aiding. I went back to Henry School and worked under my second grade teacher, Mrs. Smolz. Mrs. Smolz was one of my favorite teachers. She was kind and gentle yet demanding of her students. Well, as demanding as a second grade teacher could be. And she could wiggle her ears which I could as well. We were kindred spirits. About an hour into my first day, I realized that teaching wasn't for me. By the end of the week I had made the decision to drop out of college, take some time off and reevaluate my academic career.

I won't dull you with the details, but fast forward 22 years and I still haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up....need to figure that out soon. I still consider my lack of a college degree to be my biggest disappointment. (well, that and my waistline.) I feel I am intelligent enough (though I sweated through college algebra), I just never went back to complete a degree. Life just got in the way.

So, back to today's assembly. Pep assemblies in my era consisted of the cheerleaders, poms, band, jocks, etc. Cheerleaders would do some cheers ("West is Best"), the poms would shake their poms, the jocks would strut, etc., etc. There wasn't much to the assemblies, very low production value. A long roll of paper and some paint was about as "big" as it got. On a scale of one to ten, I would rate them about a minus two. The biggest "deal" of our assemblies was hearing of who tried to skip out on them and leave school. There were always stories of kids getting "busted" in the parking lot by one principal or another. I was always too afraid to try it.

It has been 24 years since I was in high school. 24 years is a looooong time. Not only has education improved but the assemblies are astonishing! First off, this production (and I am calling it a production) was almost two hours long. The district brings in lighting towers. Not just one but four, four overhead lighting towers. Colored lights, black lights, strobe lights. There might have even been lasers, but I could have been having a flash back to one of the Planetariums light shows. (Remember those?) Next, the sound system, oh yeah, the sound system could rival any concert put on by any headlining rock/hip hop/country group today. Confetti canons, cascading balloons from the ceiling, etc. The students along with faculty help write, direct and produce the entire production. There were multiple singing and dancing acts. (It was rumored that the kids who performed the Lady Gaga skit spent over $1,000 for the costumes.) The teachers and staff danced (this would have never occurred in my time.) The superintendent was on hand to help hand out academic achievement awards. Hundreds of students were recognized for their hard work in and out of the classroom.

As I walked out with a group of parents, many of us had our jaws dragging the floor. We all said how wonderful it was to see a high school, students, teachers, administrators, come together to celebrate their wonderful school community. All of us said how much we wish our high school experience had been like this.

I just wonder what the schools will be like in another 24 years...I imagine I may have grandchildren by then.... and if I do, I am going to their assemblies!

i'll get you my pretty and your little dog too....

every spring the earth awakes from it's winter slumber and life begins again....as i have watched outside these last many months, it is a welcoming distraction from the chaos that has become my life....job loss, financial instability, family health issues, kid issues, all make me feel like i am one step ahead of a speeding train that is about to run me over. after speaking to many friends, they tell me they feel the same way, and while comforting to know this, i am almost scare to admit outloud that i have never been more afraid in my life.

after moving back to st. louis almost eight years ago and purchasing the family business from my father, lynn and I (but mostly Lynn) have been battling to make the business successful and profitable. after all these years, setbacks, challenges and battles, it has become clear that continuing is not going to happen for us. as with most company failures, there isn't just one reason why it has failed, but several, the major being employee scrap and lack of committment, not lack of work mind you...we have more work than we can handle..... in these times how terrible is that?

everything we have, every dollar we have saved, has been invested in the company. In September, 2008 we both stopped taking paychecks to reinvest the money back in the company. we cashed in every investment, retirement account, etc., to live off of these last 18 months to try to keep the company afloat, to pay our employees and to keep the door open. now that everything has gone to pay the employees who haven't given a "you know what" and we have nothing, i made the demoralizing phone call to file for unemployment only to be told i don't qualify since i have had a paycheck for the 12 month period prior to filing! isn't that a peach! my life's savings, blood, sweat and tears are in a company and i get, pardon me, screwed again. i asked the woman at DES (div. of employment security) what i was going to do, i have two kids, and she tells me to apply for food stamps and medicaid......am i really living this? this has got to be a nightmare! at the age of 42 I am financially ruined, without health insurance and for all purposes up a creek without a paddle. WOW!

my father has had more strokes, the last one being several weeks ago....he has now gotten to the point where they will no longer be bringing him up to st. louis for treatment....there is nothing else the doctors can do....he will stay at the lake and receive therapy down there....good news is he came home this past week and will be able to receive his therapy at home....i feel terrible that at the age of 74 my father is in as poor health as he is....if what the professionals say is true, the strokes will continue with more frequency and severity....it is so sad to watch someone you love slip away....like alzheimer's (which his father had) it really is a long goodbye....

in the midst of all of the turmoil, olivia turned 12 and hadden turned 16....and yes, he did pass his driver's test...my consumption of alcohol has increased! just kidding :) where did the time go? it seems like yesterday she was 4 and he was 8....it goes by so quickly....in a blink of an eye they are grown....i want to go back...! i want a redo! DO OVER!......

i know we are not the only family with job troubles, failing health and kid crisis but sometimes it does feel like it.....at night when i lay in bed, unable to sleep, i remember how i felt as a kid after watching the "Wizard of Oz." The flying monkeys and the wicked witch scared the crap out of me and every year my mother insisted that i watch it....i would lay in bed and just shake...completely convinced they were coming for me.....it is the same feeling...fear...fear of the unknown...fear of the witch that is going to swoop through the air...steal my dog and pull the straw out of my friend....only this time, she's real...